How I learned that you’ll never turn a body that you hate into a body that you love.
Here’s a transcript:
So, today I’m gonna share with you a little bit about how I learned that you will never turn a body that you hate into a body that you love.
I started consistently working out and exercising – or whatever you wanna call it – and watching what I eat back in 2009.
And at first it was just to lose a little bit of spare weight but I picked up drinking too much and eating too much Jimmy John’s during my final semester at Virginia Tech.
Totally acceptable goal.
I mean I was carrying around a little bit of pudge and wasn’t down with that, plus I felt like crap.
Anyhow, I eventually moved after graduation; I moved to a very small mining town in the middle of Arizona.
And then, after a couple months there, they shipped my ass off to Africa, where I worked all the time, pretty much – 12 hours a day for about six days a week, and then about a half a day on Sundays.
And at that point I started to get a little bit… I started to let stress get the best of me and started dropping weight pretty quickly.
And then, since I saw the number on the scale going down, I started to think, “Oh! Well, that’s kinda cool”, and so I just kept trying to keep that trend going.
Then I ended up being put on night shift, and for about three weeks [of eight on that shift] I was the only native English speaker on that shift…and that was tough.
I was pretty isolated, pretty lonely – although I didn’t realize that at the time, but that’s the case.
So that just made me focus on, you know, the whole “weight” thing even more, and so it kept driving down, kept driving down.
And then when I got back from Africa – that would have been in the beginning of 2010 – that’s when the exercising became excessive – in my mind.
I began running and cycling every single morning even though I felt horrible – zero energy.
I’ve been six foot since, like, my freshman year of high school – never went past that.
I eventually drove my weight down to about 145 pounds, which is pretty damn skinny [for a dude of my height].
And, no matter what, I just wasn’t satisfied.
You know, I always wanted to get leaner… I always wanted more definition.
You know, to me, it wasn’t even necessarily about the number on the scale, so much as it was a “look” that I wanted.
I promise I’m going somewhere with all this…
Over the next few years, I saw drastic changes in my body – from losing a ton of weight to gaining a ton of weight, sometimes not so healthily.
And then, you know, I definitely progressed in ways that some people would be very pleased.
You know, a lot of people struggle to lose weight, and a lot of people struggle to gain weight, and I was always a little bit obsessive and was dedicated enough – and I don’t mean that [dedicated] in like a bragging way, I just, you know, I focused on the goal and I went after it.
And, you know, I always achieved those things and I was never satisfied.
You know, whether that was getting faster on runs or getting faster on the bike or hitting PR’s in the gym with lifting.
You know, before I started doing the body weight stuff I’m doing now, I used to post that stuff all the time on, like, my Instagram and stuff.
And, you know, for several years there, it was just never “enough”.
It was never enough.
And the fact of the matter is, none of that stuff mattered because I did not love my body.
Which I feel kinda weird saying that, mainly because of, like, the societal norms of, like, men not “supposed” to admit that they have body image issues.
But I know from discussing with some friends and some guys I’ve worked with that that’s absolutely the case – that we struggle with it too.
And so when you don’t love your body, when you are approaching exercise and training and nutrition and restricting your diet…
And when you’re focusing on… when your goals in terms of fitness are focused solely on trying to make yourself happy with yourself, you’ll never get there.
You’ll never turn a body that you hate into a body that you love.
You can’t fix a body that you hate.
I got that quote from Jason Seib.
He’s got a podcast – it’s the “AltShift” podcast – highly recommend you listen to it
But yeah, this whole time I spent probably five or six years just hating myself- hating my body – and everything that I did was because I just wasn’t happy with my body and no matter what, no matter what change I saw in it, I wasn’t happy with it.
And it wasn’t until about two or three years ago when I shifted my perspective.
I learned to go about things out of love for my body.
Now, you might be sitting here thinking, “Oh well easy enough for you to say, dude – just start loving your body – how do you do that?”
Well, the secret is it’s not really about your body.
It’s not about the food.
It’s not about the nutrition.
You’ll not be happy with your body until you’re happy with yourself, and happy with your life.
It wasn’t until I learned to love myself that I learned to approach fitness and health from a place of positivity and a place of love and a place of improving – improving my situation because I deserved it and because I loved myself and not because I hated myself.
So, I’m running a little long here, but I want you to leave with this one message – that you will not fix a body that you hate, and you will not love your body until you love yourself.
And next week we will cover how to go about shifting from not loving yourself to loving yourself, because I don’t want this to be a long-ass video.
Chew on that for a hot minute.
Go forth, kick ass, make it an awesome day.