I started this post with the intent of writing about patience. However, I ended up going down a completely different road, so I guess we’ll have to…be patient.
I swear I did not plan that.
You might be at a point where you appreciate my most recent posts on the importance of mindfulness. You might not.
The truth is, until you get control of your thoughts, emotions, and impulses, nothing else we cover will matter.
Also, if you don’t like mindset stuff like that, this may not be the blog for you (at least not yet).
You may benefit greatly from getting started working on mindfulness before we start really digging deep, and working on the things you’re going to need to address to finally reach your health and fitness goals – and actually be satisfied with them.
I’d almost encourage you not to read anything else until you’ve been meditating regularly, but you’d probably read on regardless, so fuck it, much of this may still resonate with you.
Some of the things you do to improve your health and fitness will serve you well.
You find the most promising training routine or diet plan and go absolutely balls-to-the-wall with them, always trying new things. You pore over books, blogs, and articles. You load up the podcast queue, and add one video and presentation after another to your YouTube “Watch Later” seeking the eating and training strategies that will get you strong as an ox, shredded AF, and super healthy.
Sure, you don’t know too many other people out there as passionate about these things as you, but they’re out there and you will find them if you maintain those things as central points of your life. You might feel like an outsider at times for these things, but you’re not the only one.
The thing is, I know that’s how you feel. I know what it’s like to feel like the only person who cares. You’re not off track. You’re not weird. You’re doing you. You’re taking care of you.
Be aware, though, I know other things, too.
I know what it’s like to be hungry nearly all the time.
I know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed with stress for missing a workout.
I know what it’s like to feel guilty after eating.
I know what it’s like to feel anxious before social events involving food.
I know what it’s like to feel lost, confused, and desperate to just know what to eat and how to train to get that lean, strong look you see others achieve.
I know what it’s like to feel like everybody else on social media is strong, ripped, and happy AF, and that you seem to be headed in the exact opposite direction.
I know what it’s like to be jealous of those who seem perfectly happy without a thought of what they eat or how they look.
I know what it’s like to feel disappointed when you look in the mirror, no matter how much fat you lose, muscle you build, or definition you develop.
It’s not just you.
I’ve been there, too, and I know how badly you want to not feel these things.
Here’s something else I know.
It doesn’t matter what you’re eating, how you’re training, what your body fat percentage is, or how much you lift.
Sure, these things have an effect on how you look, feel, and perform. They won’t, however, do much for your quality of life. They won’t fix the feelings of desperation, frustration, inadequacy, loneliness, and dissatisfaction.
They won’t make you confident. They won’t make you feel respected. They won’t make you feel loved. They won’t make you feel successful. They won’t make you feel connected. These feelings come from elsewhere.
Will your efforts to improve your body contribute to your quality of life?
There’s so much value in knowing that you are able to overcome challenges, work hard, and achieve predetermined goals. There’s value in knowing that you are doing the best you can for your body – the body through which you will make the world a better place.
However, even those feelings, in addition to the others you seek – confidence, respect, love, success, connection – will not be possible until you focus just as hard on loving yourself for reasons completely unrelated to your body.
I know that might not make much sense, and you may think I’m full of shit.
I assure you, though, if you focus on being happy with yourself just apart from your body, it will make achieving the body you want infinitely more enjoyable and infinitely more effective. You’ll reach your goals faster, and you’ll appreciate them so much more.
At this point, you may be thinking, “Well, that’s a pretty tall damn order”.
You’re right. It is.
It will take years, and it will take much experimentation to find out what works best for you in terms of what you want out of life and in terms of what you want for your body.
It will also take learning how to sift through all the bullshit information out there in fitness, health, and life.
I know you know there’s a lot of it, which is why you read and consume so much.
We will cover this all, I promise. My thoughts and advice will be much different than you might expect, but they’ll serve you quite well.
For now, though, be patient.
You’ll get there. You’re going to crush this.
But be patient.
Go forth, kick ass, make it an awesome day!